Never in my life have I been told to "suck it up and deal with it!" but those are the words that I needed to hear last night.
I have been going through a period of self-pity lately (ok, for the last 6 months) where all I have done is moped about and complained about my current work situation! I have been letting myself be miserable because I have to get up too early in the morning, my job is a bore to me, and I get home at a time of night that does not allow me much personal time before having to make dinner, do the chores around the house and go to bed so I can get back up and do it all over again!
My philosophy has typically been that if I'm not happy with something I make a change because life is too short to be unhappy! I haven't taken the time to realize that a lot of my unhappiness is in my head ~ that I am the one allowing myself to be unhappy in the situation that I am in! I needed a wake up call! I needed to be told to Suck it Up!
Some people would think that my job is great! I make a good salary, I have full health benefits, I come to work where I surf the net the entire day and then I go home. For me though it is not enough. I know that I am not living up to my potential and I am letting that get me down!
During the last recession I was in grade school, too young to understand what was going on. Between then and now I have had many jobs because as I said above as soon as I was getting bored with one I would find another one! Today things are not that easy. I have applied to positions that I have seen posted but I am not getting any calls back... I am hearing rumours of hiring freezes, layoffs and I am even watching people walk through our office door asking if we are hiring ~ I have never seen that in my working life!
I need to shift my attitude and develop an attitude of gratitude. Nothing is forever and I have a good gig right now which allows me to pay the bills and more. My loving bf and I have just purchased a house and having a steady income is much needed right now. So what if I'm tired at night, I'll simply have to make adjustments and go to bed earlier. I'll need to 'suck it up' until the holiday season has passed and the economy has started to improve when I can then refocus my job search and find something more meaningful that is closer to home. In the interim there is no reason as to why I should allow myself to be unhappy ~ things could be worse!
In my 20's I would have said 'forget this!' and I would have been out the door. Today my priorities are different and I need to adjust my thinking to a more mature level. I need to become more self aware and I need to learn to change my perspective ~ all works in progress!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Sense of Urgency vs Patience
What's really the difference between having a sense of urgency or being impatient? I will honestly admit that I am both, and lately it seems that I am becoming increasingly more so. Why is that? Because I want to get things done and move forward with things, or because I truly have no patience?
My boyfriend is much more patient than I am. He describes himself as being 'laid back', at times though, to me at least, it seems that he is so laid back that he doesn't care. This has resulted in him losing some things that he really wanted, such as a painting that we saw for sale. He thought that if he held out they would drop the price. I kept telling him "if you want it then go buy it". He decided the next morning that he would pay their asking price. When we went to go speak with the seller again she told us that she had accepted an offer the previous day, the day when my boyfriend had been inquiring about it. He was so mad that he lost out on the painting. I couldn't help being smug about the whole situation because had he acted on it he would have gotten it.
On the other side of things one might think that I'm too compulsive and that I do not think enough before acting. The way I view things is that if you're not happy make a change. It's your life and you only have 1 opportunity to live it! It's also very short and it can be taken away from you in an instant! One area where I am constantly making a change is in my career. If I'm in a job that I don't like I look for something else right away! Why am I going to sit around doing something that I'm not happy doing / wasting my life?
Can making sudden changes be classified as having a lack of patience or as having a sense of urgency? I
My boyfriend is much more patient than I am. He describes himself as being 'laid back', at times though, to me at least, it seems that he is so laid back that he doesn't care. This has resulted in him losing some things that he really wanted, such as a painting that we saw for sale. He thought that if he held out they would drop the price. I kept telling him "if you want it then go buy it". He decided the next morning that he would pay their asking price. When we went to go speak with the seller again she told us that she had accepted an offer the previous day, the day when my boyfriend had been inquiring about it. He was so mad that he lost out on the painting. I couldn't help being smug about the whole situation because had he acted on it he would have gotten it.
On the other side of things one might think that I'm too compulsive and that I do not think enough before acting. The way I view things is that if you're not happy make a change. It's your life and you only have 1 opportunity to live it! It's also very short and it can be taken away from you in an instant! One area where I am constantly making a change is in my career. If I'm in a job that I don't like I look for something else right away! Why am I going to sit around doing something that I'm not happy doing / wasting my life?
Can making sudden changes be classified as having a lack of patience or as having a sense of urgency? I
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Learning All There Is To Learn
I have to be honest when I say that I have a big beef with our current public education system (I live in Canada). I feel that as children we were not taught the valuable life skills that we really do need to know in order to survive in this world! My head was filled with a bunch of theory and facts, most of which I have not used since leaving school.
Of course I did learn how to read, write, spell, math, and many other skills that I do use on a daily basis in both my personal and professional life but I did not learn some other valuable skills such as managing personal finances and relationship building.
When I was in University I was offered a credit card by one of those vendors on campus who set up during frosh week and give away 'gifts' when you apply for a credit card! I was approved and with my first card I bought not 1 but 2 leather jackets! I thought "this is great! free money!". I would of course receive monthly statements and in bold it would say "Minimum Payment", which was so incredibly low I thought it was a steal! Well it was - stealing my hard earned money only it took me years and years to figure that out. I was not taught in school that credit is something that needs to be used very carefully, I did not learn how the compound interest worked, and I did not realize that it would take much much longer to pay it back than it did to spend it! Luckily to this day I still have those 2 leather jackets and yes, they are still in style!
Unfortunately I did not learn with that first purchase. It took me many many many more years of spending on credit before I realized holy $hit! I owe how much??? It was incredible how fast it amounted! Today I am making loan payments of almost $800 per month to try to get all of my spending paid off! I don't want to admit how high it got but believe me the balance owing was high! Fortunately I have great credit because I never missed one of those small minimum payments (how could you, they're so small!) and creditors of course loved me because they were making great money off of me! I am very very lucky that I did not get in too far over a manageable level and I have learned my lesson. Today I am not the person I was yesterday and I am not my debt, that is a mistake from the past that I have learned from, one which has made me stronger.
As I said I am very fortunate that I did not let myself get too far under my debt! My boyfriend and I have recently purchased a new house and we are now going through the process of figuring out our down payment, closing costs, what type of mortgage we want and how to combine our finances. Wow, I am learning so much and I have so much to learn! Why was there not a course in school on Mortgages - open vs closed, fixed vs variable interest rates, amortization periods etc. I feel like I am going into this blind and I am soooo thankful that I have access to the Internet and all of the resources that it provides! We are taking out life insurance policies ~ what, at 30? And figuring out how to combine our finances, talk about pressure on a relationship! Where did all of this new required learning come from and where are the teachers who are experts in this stuff?
I can only imagine how much more I have to learn in my 30's and beyond...
Of course I did learn how to read, write, spell, math, and many other skills that I do use on a daily basis in both my personal and professional life but I did not learn some other valuable skills such as managing personal finances and relationship building.
When I was in University I was offered a credit card by one of those vendors on campus who set up during frosh week and give away 'gifts' when you apply for a credit card! I was approved and with my first card I bought not 1 but 2 leather jackets! I thought "this is great! free money!". I would of course receive monthly statements and in bold it would say "Minimum Payment", which was so incredibly low I thought it was a steal! Well it was - stealing my hard earned money only it took me years and years to figure that out. I was not taught in school that credit is something that needs to be used very carefully, I did not learn how the compound interest worked, and I did not realize that it would take much much longer to pay it back than it did to spend it! Luckily to this day I still have those 2 leather jackets and yes, they are still in style!
Unfortunately I did not learn with that first purchase. It took me many many many more years of spending on credit before I realized holy $hit! I owe how much??? It was incredible how fast it amounted! Today I am making loan payments of almost $800 per month to try to get all of my spending paid off! I don't want to admit how high it got but believe me the balance owing was high! Fortunately I have great credit because I never missed one of those small minimum payments (how could you, they're so small!) and creditors of course loved me because they were making great money off of me! I am very very lucky that I did not get in too far over a manageable level and I have learned my lesson. Today I am not the person I was yesterday and I am not my debt, that is a mistake from the past that I have learned from, one which has made me stronger.
As I said I am very fortunate that I did not let myself get too far under my debt! My boyfriend and I have recently purchased a new house and we are now going through the process of figuring out our down payment, closing costs, what type of mortgage we want and how to combine our finances. Wow, I am learning so much and I have so much to learn! Why was there not a course in school on Mortgages - open vs closed, fixed vs variable interest rates, amortization periods etc. I feel like I am going into this blind and I am soooo thankful that I have access to the Internet and all of the resources that it provides! We are taking out life insurance policies ~ what, at 30? And figuring out how to combine our finances, talk about pressure on a relationship! Where did all of this new required learning come from and where are the teachers who are experts in this stuff?
I can only imagine how much more I have to learn in my 30's and beyond...
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Wanting To Grow Down
One of my friends made an interesting comment the other day, she said that she is wanting to grow down because growing up is no fun...
Her comment got me thinking about life and about how there are so many times that I am waiting and wishing for the next stage to come quickly. When I was a child I couldn't wait to be older so I could stay up later. When I was in public school I couldn't wait to be in high school. When I was in high school I couldn't wait to go to University. While in University I couldn't wait to graduate so I could enter the 'real world' of work! ha ha. In one job I'm anxious to find another job, something more exciting and challenging. I've just bought a house with my loving boyfriend and now I can't wait for us to get engaged, I'm sure wishing for parenthood will come soon after that!
It seems that I'm always waiting and wishing for what's next to come sooner and faster than it is. Why is that? Is it because I'm bored with my current state and I'm excited for what's next ~ something new and exciting?
Many of my friends do this ~ we wish away the time. It saddens me at times when I stop and realize what I am doing because I am only here once, I only have one life to live, I should be savouring every minute, every second of my life and yet I'm wishing for it to hurry up, I'm wishing for what's next. I need to be more conscious of my tendency to do this so I can stop myself and appreciate everything that life is offering me right now. One thing that I no for certain is that I do not want to die with any regrets and I think realizing that I wished my life away would be a very big regret that I would forever have with me...
I am already in my 30's. 30 years of my life have already passed by in a flash! In 30 more I'll be in my 60's, 30 after that I'll be in my 90's. Yes I still have a lot of years left to live and each one is a precious gift ~ it is time to stop wishing them away.
Her comment got me thinking about life and about how there are so many times that I am waiting and wishing for the next stage to come quickly. When I was a child I couldn't wait to be older so I could stay up later. When I was in public school I couldn't wait to be in high school. When I was in high school I couldn't wait to go to University. While in University I couldn't wait to graduate so I could enter the 'real world' of work! ha ha. In one job I'm anxious to find another job, something more exciting and challenging. I've just bought a house with my loving boyfriend and now I can't wait for us to get engaged, I'm sure wishing for parenthood will come soon after that!
It seems that I'm always waiting and wishing for what's next to come sooner and faster than it is. Why is that? Is it because I'm bored with my current state and I'm excited for what's next ~ something new and exciting?
Many of my friends do this ~ we wish away the time. It saddens me at times when I stop and realize what I am doing because I am only here once, I only have one life to live, I should be savouring every minute, every second of my life and yet I'm wishing for it to hurry up, I'm wishing for what's next. I need to be more conscious of my tendency to do this so I can stop myself and appreciate everything that life is offering me right now. One thing that I no for certain is that I do not want to die with any regrets and I think realizing that I wished my life away would be a very big regret that I would forever have with me...
I am already in my 30's. 30 years of my life have already passed by in a flash! In 30 more I'll be in my 60's, 30 after that I'll be in my 90's. Yes I still have a lot of years left to live and each one is a precious gift ~ it is time to stop wishing them away.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I Like Your Style
Those are the words that were spoken to me by a bank teller today as I was doing a transaction "I like your style", a compliment paid to my by an innocent stranger. It is amazing how something as simple as a compliment from a stranger can brighten your day...
I have been wondering lately "Am I still cool?" If I think about it I don't really feel like I would classify as "cool" nor do I think I would fall into the "uncool" category. What is being cool anyways? Does that mean that you are accepted by others? Are there any other perks that come along with the title of being cool? Do I even really care about being cool?
My favourite clothes are ones that are comfortable. Sure I love to look great but I don't love spending hours on putting myself together every morning so I don't. I'm sure that if Stacy and Clinton from "What Not To Wear" saw me walking down the street that they would have something to say, but couldn't they find something to say about the way everyone dresses? Who makes the rules regarding how we should dress anyways? The fashionistas in Paris? Have you seen what they wear to some of the fashion shows? I wouldn't be caught dead in some of those outfits! I can't say that I'm up on the latest fashion trends. I like track pants when I get home and no they are not Loulou Lemon ~ I much prefer to have that money in my wallet... Many of my work clothes are from Banana Republic which I love, but have you noticed that "work clothes" are not the most comfortable garments to wear?! I'm also struggling with the fact that most of my pants are too long for me ~ the reason being is because when I was in my 20's I did wear heels and stilettos to work every day. I fooled myself into thinking that I could walk better in heels than in flats because I was so used to wearing them. I am more honest with myself though now that I am in my 30's. Stilettos are not comfortable, flats can be cute but never sexy, and I have 1 pair of feet that I would like to have function for the next 50 years! I have seen the toes of some old ladies and yuck! (no offense), I would rather have cute / sexy feet at home, in bed ;o) with my partner rather than cramming my feet into uncomfortable shoes and hiding them under my desk where no one can see them anyways!
As for the music I listen to, I suppose you can classify it as top 20's mainstream genre ~ is that a type of music classification? ha ha I have never really been into music. I have always listened to it but I can never tell you the title of a song or who the artist is who sings it. I have listened to country, rap, hip hop, opera, rock, not much of a fan of jazz...I basically listen to it all but I wouldn't say that I'm into one type more than others. Top 20's work just fine for me. My Mom listens to a music station that plays mostly 'oldies', I wonder though if I were to ask her if she would classify that music as 'oldies'. I am sure she, like me, hears a song that she used to listen to in her 20's and it brings back great memories for her and she loves it today as much as she did then. I hear the same song and think "yuck! this music is so old and isn't good anyways". Is that going to happen to me too? Will my kids one day think that I am uncool?
So is that what defines being "cool" or "uncool"? The way you dress or the music you listen to? I'm honestly not sure. I like to think that classifying someone as cool or uncool is something that you do in social circles that you no longer belong to once you have reached the stage in your life where you are comfortable with yourself regardless of what others think. I am happy with myself and who I am. I have a better idea of who I am today than I did 10 or even 5 years ago ~ thank you 30's :o)
I have been wondering lately "Am I still cool?" If I think about it I don't really feel like I would classify as "cool" nor do I think I would fall into the "uncool" category. What is being cool anyways? Does that mean that you are accepted by others? Are there any other perks that come along with the title of being cool? Do I even really care about being cool?
My favourite clothes are ones that are comfortable. Sure I love to look great but I don't love spending hours on putting myself together every morning so I don't. I'm sure that if Stacy and Clinton from "What Not To Wear" saw me walking down the street that they would have something to say, but couldn't they find something to say about the way everyone dresses? Who makes the rules regarding how we should dress anyways? The fashionistas in Paris? Have you seen what they wear to some of the fashion shows? I wouldn't be caught dead in some of those outfits! I can't say that I'm up on the latest fashion trends. I like track pants when I get home and no they are not Loulou Lemon ~ I much prefer to have that money in my wallet... Many of my work clothes are from Banana Republic which I love, but have you noticed that "work clothes" are not the most comfortable garments to wear?! I'm also struggling with the fact that most of my pants are too long for me ~ the reason being is because when I was in my 20's I did wear heels and stilettos to work every day. I fooled myself into thinking that I could walk better in heels than in flats because I was so used to wearing them. I am more honest with myself though now that I am in my 30's. Stilettos are not comfortable, flats can be cute but never sexy, and I have 1 pair of feet that I would like to have function for the next 50 years! I have seen the toes of some old ladies and yuck! (no offense), I would rather have cute / sexy feet at home, in bed ;o) with my partner rather than cramming my feet into uncomfortable shoes and hiding them under my desk where no one can see them anyways!
As for the music I listen to, I suppose you can classify it as top 20's mainstream genre ~ is that a type of music classification? ha ha I have never really been into music. I have always listened to it but I can never tell you the title of a song or who the artist is who sings it. I have listened to country, rap, hip hop, opera, rock, not much of a fan of jazz...I basically listen to it all but I wouldn't say that I'm into one type more than others. Top 20's work just fine for me. My Mom listens to a music station that plays mostly 'oldies', I wonder though if I were to ask her if she would classify that music as 'oldies'. I am sure she, like me, hears a song that she used to listen to in her 20's and it brings back great memories for her and she loves it today as much as she did then. I hear the same song and think "yuck! this music is so old and isn't good anyways". Is that going to happen to me too? Will my kids one day think that I am uncool?
So is that what defines being "cool" or "uncool"? The way you dress or the music you listen to? I'm honestly not sure. I like to think that classifying someone as cool or uncool is something that you do in social circles that you no longer belong to once you have reached the stage in your life where you are comfortable with yourself regardless of what others think. I am happy with myself and who I am. I have a better idea of who I am today than I did 10 or even 5 years ago ~ thank you 30's :o)
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Not Quite Wonder Woman
I chose this handle because it describes exactly how I feel most times. I try and try and try to do it all but I just don't seem to be able to because I'm not quite Wonder Woman! No one is asking me to do as much as I do and if I am honest with myself I am the one who is putting all of the pressure on me! My days are very very full, although I can't say that I am overly busy, or busy at all during the day at work (that's a whole other matter though). Here's a look at my Monday - Friday:
5:30 a.m. - coax my dear partner out of bed
6:13 a.m. - drag myself out of bed, now in the dark, and get ready for the day ahead. I wish I could say that I bound out of bed excited for the day ahead but I'm not
6:54 a.m. - leave the house for the train station
7:04 a.m. - arrive at the train station
7:06 a.m. - board the train
7:50 a.m. - arrive downtown
8:00 a.m. - arrive at work, just in time (I really don't like rushing but I have no alternatives here)
5:00 p.m. - leave the office (yes, I work a dreaded 9 hour day! What happened to the standard 9 - 5 with 1 hour for lunch??)
5:20 p.m. - catch the train
6:00 p.m. - arrive at my home train station
6:20 p.m. - finally manage to push myself through the traffic and out of the train station parking lot
6:30 p.m. - home sweet home
By no means is the schedule above reflective of what I want for my life. Being out of my house for 11.5 hours min per day does not allow me to have the work-life balance that I desire. And as I am sure you can relate the work does not end when I walk in the door because then there is the matter of figuring out what to have for dinner, making dinner, cleaning up after dinner, tidying up the house (thank God we have a cleaning lady who comes every 2 weeks). Oh and then there's laundry, chores, errands and what about 'me' time? time to work out? time to relax and enjoy life? time to spend time with the ones who I love and care about? And so I say I'm not Quite Wonder Woman, I can't quite do it all yet I desperately want to be able to!
I want to be able to financially contribute to my household, I want to be able to prepare wonderful meals for us, I want to be able to entertain / to host my friends and families at dinner parties, I want to be able to keep the house tidy and I want to have the time and the energy to enjoy it all ~ so how can I manage it all? Where did this big 'to do' list come from? how is it that I used to have so much spare time that I actually had time to be bored? lol
Many people my read my day, my 'complaints', and ask why don't I move closer to work. Well that's an easy question for me to answer ~ I am not married to my job or my work, my commitments are at home, with my family and the ones I love, so my solution is to find work closer to home! I love the area in which I live so why would I sacrifice my time and my happiness to move somewhere to do something that I am not happy doing in the first place?
I came across an article related to this topic of how much time we spend commuting which I find interesting:
America's Killer Commute
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/HomeMortgageSavings/AmericasKillerCommute.aspx
I find it amazing that the guy in the article says that he enjoys spending time on the weekend in the community in which he lives so he sacrifices time with his newborn baby to make a ridiculously long commute into work. Where are his priorities? Like us, he is in his 30's and it doesn't seem as though it has hit him yet that life is too short to spend all of your time on the road away from the ones that you love.
I sometimes think that they way most families lived 50 to 60 years ago was much more balanced than the way that we try to do it today. One person was responsible for making money for the family while the other took care of the house. Both people had their own responsibilities and it sounds as though things ran much smoother and people were much less stressed than we all are today. It seems as though life has become totally obsessed with what kind of car do you drive? how big is your house? where did you go on vacation this year? Priorities seem to be totally out of whack and I have no idea how things came to be that way! I often joke to my partner that we should buy some property up north, grow our own food (which would be much better for us than the stuff we can buy in the store these days), home school our kids to ensure that they are learning the skills that will truly help them through life instead of the trivial information that I was taught when I went to school.
It seems as though my appreciation for life and the meaning of life has come to the forefront of my mind now that I am in my 30's, now I just need to find a way to fit it all in and make it work!
5:30 a.m. - coax my dear partner out of bed
6:13 a.m. - drag myself out of bed, now in the dark, and get ready for the day ahead. I wish I could say that I bound out of bed excited for the day ahead but I'm not
6:54 a.m. - leave the house for the train station
7:04 a.m. - arrive at the train station
7:06 a.m. - board the train
7:50 a.m. - arrive downtown
8:00 a.m. - arrive at work, just in time (I really don't like rushing but I have no alternatives here)
5:00 p.m. - leave the office (yes, I work a dreaded 9 hour day! What happened to the standard 9 - 5 with 1 hour for lunch??)
5:20 p.m. - catch the train
6:00 p.m. - arrive at my home train station
6:20 p.m. - finally manage to push myself through the traffic and out of the train station parking lot
6:30 p.m. - home sweet home
By no means is the schedule above reflective of what I want for my life. Being out of my house for 11.5 hours min per day does not allow me to have the work-life balance that I desire. And as I am sure you can relate the work does not end when I walk in the door because then there is the matter of figuring out what to have for dinner, making dinner, cleaning up after dinner, tidying up the house (thank God we have a cleaning lady who comes every 2 weeks). Oh and then there's laundry, chores, errands and what about 'me' time? time to work out? time to relax and enjoy life? time to spend time with the ones who I love and care about? And so I say I'm not Quite Wonder Woman, I can't quite do it all yet I desperately want to be able to!
I want to be able to financially contribute to my household, I want to be able to prepare wonderful meals for us, I want to be able to entertain / to host my friends and families at dinner parties, I want to be able to keep the house tidy and I want to have the time and the energy to enjoy it all ~ so how can I manage it all? Where did this big 'to do' list come from? how is it that I used to have so much spare time that I actually had time to be bored? lol
Many people my read my day, my 'complaints', and ask why don't I move closer to work. Well that's an easy question for me to answer ~ I am not married to my job or my work, my commitments are at home, with my family and the ones I love, so my solution is to find work closer to home! I love the area in which I live so why would I sacrifice my time and my happiness to move somewhere to do something that I am not happy doing in the first place?
I came across an article related to this topic of how much time we spend commuting which I find interesting:
America's Killer Commute
http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Investing/HomeMortgageSavings/AmericasKillerCommute.aspx
I find it amazing that the guy in the article says that he enjoys spending time on the weekend in the community in which he lives so he sacrifices time with his newborn baby to make a ridiculously long commute into work. Where are his priorities? Like us, he is in his 30's and it doesn't seem as though it has hit him yet that life is too short to spend all of your time on the road away from the ones that you love.
I sometimes think that they way most families lived 50 to 60 years ago was much more balanced than the way that we try to do it today. One person was responsible for making money for the family while the other took care of the house. Both people had their own responsibilities and it sounds as though things ran much smoother and people were much less stressed than we all are today. It seems as though life has become totally obsessed with what kind of car do you drive? how big is your house? where did you go on vacation this year? Priorities seem to be totally out of whack and I have no idea how things came to be that way! I often joke to my partner that we should buy some property up north, grow our own food (which would be much better for us than the stuff we can buy in the store these days), home school our kids to ensure that they are learning the skills that will truly help them through life instead of the trivial information that I was taught when I went to school.
It seems as though my appreciation for life and the meaning of life has come to the forefront of my mind now that I am in my 30's, now I just need to find a way to fit it all in and make it work!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
New Responsibilities, New Priorities
It's amazing how priorities change with age. I'm not saying that it's unexpected but it seems as though it happens overnight. One year I'm trying to figure out which club to go to on a Friday night and the next I can't wait for Friday to roll around when I can put on some comfy clothes, open a nice bottle of wine and curl up in front of the t.v. with my boyfriend ~ that is true bliss for me. Unfortunately, with how busy we are all of the time relaxing on the couch is a rarity.
Last weekend was filled with going to bed early Friday night, not out of want but out of need from being totally exhausted from the work week, waking up and heading to see our house developer, running some errands and doing other odds and ends. If you relay this weekend's events to someone in their 20's they will probably look at you like you're dull and perhaps even boring. It's strange though, despite the errands and chores I had a great weekend and I can't wait to do it again! Next weekend moving love seats to be recovered ~ and yes I can't wait!
Last weekend was filled with going to bed early Friday night, not out of want but out of need from being totally exhausted from the work week, waking up and heading to see our house developer, running some errands and doing other odds and ends. If you relay this weekend's events to someone in their 20's they will probably look at you like you're dull and perhaps even boring. It's strange though, despite the errands and chores I had a great weekend and I can't wait to do it again! Next weekend moving love seats to be recovered ~ and yes I can't wait!
Friday, November 7, 2008
My 30-Something Self
30 seemed to come out of nowhere and bam! It hit me just like that. I can clearly remember when I was 19 like it was yesterday and I have no idea where the years in between disappeared to! My Mom always told me that the older you get the faster life passes you by and boy she wasn't kidding! How is it that I'm 30 already?
Am I where I am supposed to be at this stage in my life?
Did I choose all of the right paths to this point?
Did I experience all that I should have in my 20's?
etc. etc. etc.
I could probably go on with the questions that I ask myself forever! And then there's:
What's next?
How did I end up in a job that I don't like?
When should I have kids by? I hear it becomes riskier the closer you are to 40...
etc. etc. etc.
Please console me and tell me that you ask some of the same questions of yourself.
One thing I can say about being in my 30's is that I'm much more confident with who I am. I know what I like and what I don't like. I don't feel the need to seek the approval of others as much as I did when I was younger. I am fine with spending time by myself and I am not worried about missing what happens after midnight. It feels as though a lot of the pressures that I put on myself when I was in my teens and 20's, the pressure to feel socially accepted has melted away which is nice. However there are others pressures that I have let replace it. Like the pressure to pay off the debt that I let rack up when I was younger. The pressure to create the life that I want for myself and my boyfriend. The pressure to get engaged and start a family. The pressure to financially secure our future and to ensure that we will be able to do all that we want to do.
I am much better about making plans to improve things at this stage in my life. I have consolidated all of my debts and I am actually making gains towards becoming debt free ~ my goal is to be debt free my 2010! I will share with you in another post how I came to be in a position where it is taking me 3-long years to pay off all of the money that I now owe to the lovely Royal Bank! I have also recently bought a house with my boyfriend and I am very excited about moving in and starting that new chapter of my life.
The one area where I have to say that I'm totally lost and confused about is what I want to do with my life, in the sense of my career. It seems that is the one question that we are asked from when we are little to when we reach retirement, only in different variations. When you are a child you are asked - What do you want to be when you grow up? During mid-life it's - What do you do for a living? And upon retirement - What were you? I hate being defined by what it is that I do day-to-day and perhaps that's because I haven't yet found my true calling. Does that mean that I haven't yet found myself? Is that what the 30's are for?
Am I where I am supposed to be at this stage in my life?
Did I choose all of the right paths to this point?
Did I experience all that I should have in my 20's?
etc. etc. etc.
I could probably go on with the questions that I ask myself forever! And then there's:
What's next?
How did I end up in a job that I don't like?
When should I have kids by? I hear it becomes riskier the closer you are to 40...
etc. etc. etc.
Please console me and tell me that you ask some of the same questions of yourself.
One thing I can say about being in my 30's is that I'm much more confident with who I am. I know what I like and what I don't like. I don't feel the need to seek the approval of others as much as I did when I was younger. I am fine with spending time by myself and I am not worried about missing what happens after midnight. It feels as though a lot of the pressures that I put on myself when I was in my teens and 20's, the pressure to feel socially accepted has melted away which is nice. However there are others pressures that I have let replace it. Like the pressure to pay off the debt that I let rack up when I was younger. The pressure to create the life that I want for myself and my boyfriend. The pressure to get engaged and start a family. The pressure to financially secure our future and to ensure that we will be able to do all that we want to do.
I am much better about making plans to improve things at this stage in my life. I have consolidated all of my debts and I am actually making gains towards becoming debt free ~ my goal is to be debt free my 2010! I will share with you in another post how I came to be in a position where it is taking me 3-long years to pay off all of the money that I now owe to the lovely Royal Bank! I have also recently bought a house with my boyfriend and I am very excited about moving in and starting that new chapter of my life.
The one area where I have to say that I'm totally lost and confused about is what I want to do with my life, in the sense of my career. It seems that is the one question that we are asked from when we are little to when we reach retirement, only in different variations. When you are a child you are asked - What do you want to be when you grow up? During mid-life it's - What do you do for a living? And upon retirement - What were you? I hate being defined by what it is that I do day-to-day and perhaps that's because I haven't yet found my true calling. Does that mean that I haven't yet found myself? Is that what the 30's are for?
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