Thrown for A Loop

Hi All,

Thank you for your comments ~ I am happy to hear that you are enjoying following my Blog. I owe you an apology, I have been negligent lately in that I have not been posting regularly ~ I'm sorry. I will not offer you any excuses as to why because that is what the reasoning would be, excuses...

January of the New Year 2009 is almost over and I have no idea how that happened or where the time went! Today is a big day in history ~ Obama, the first black President is being sworn in and I am so excited! I am Canadian, Caucasian and in my early 30's and this is the first time I have ever taken a real interest in the Presidential Inauguration! Why is that I wonder? Perhaps it is because I am finally at an age where I can see first hand how much of an impact the United States has on us in Canada. I am also excited to see and listen to a President who can formulate a proper sentence! I heard on the radio this morning that his speech writer is a 27 year old kid ~ can you believe that!?! I think it's great because it shows that Obama has faith and believes in the talents of the younger generation!!

Anyways, back to the topic that I intended to write about. My best friend has thrown me for a loop! I met her 8 years ago at a job and we have been friends ever since! We have lived together, traveled together and I served as the Maid of Honour in her wedding! Her husband is a great guy and she, her husband, my boyfriend and I have a lot of good times together! They have been married for just under 3 years now and it seems that many of the times we have been together over the past year all she has spoken is of babies, when she's pregnant, etc. She would always say though that they weren't trying and if it happened then so be it!

Well it's happened...She wrote me last week to tell me that she's pregnant! Of course I'm over the top excited for her but already it seems as though I don't know how to relate to her. I have two close girlfriends in my life. One, my younger cousin, is married. The second, my best friend, married and now pregnant. My Mom will not leave me alone about asking when I'm getting married etc.! I can't help but feeling like I'm being left behind... I realize that this may sound selfish but it is what it is.

Don't get me wrong, I am extremely happy with my boyfriend and I am thrilled for our house to be ready for us to move into at the end of March! My hope though is that we get engaged shortly after moving in and I'm just not confident that that's going to be the case... He keeps saying to me that he's not yet ready to get married and I keep asking him what the difference is between how we are now and being married...? For me, the difference is a solid commitment, knowing that we are together forever (Divorce is not an option for me) and I will not have children until I am married and given that I am in my 30s I would like to start having my children within the next 5 years... I'm pretty sure he knows that part of my plan!

And so it is, life is constantly changing and evolving. It seems to happen so much faster now that I am in my 30s...